"Predlude to Drugs"
by Tara Wood

I had a hole in the inside filled with emptiness.
The orange and yellow was the comforting feeling of eating.
The red symbolized power of self-control
to be able to purge what I just ate.
I was boxed in by the fear of getting fat
to fit inside this black box that society had created.
So I purged!

I would eat and eat and still I felt nothing.
I went from being anorexic - controlling how much I ate (did not eat)
to bulimic - the ability to enjoy food, purge and control my weight.
I was anorexic and bulimia became the cure.
I was bulimic and drugs were the cure.
It seemed I had no control of my outside world
What I had to learn was how to control the world inside of me,
my thoughts - my choices.

You think you are at the lowest point and there is no hope,
so you are just going to get high.

Instead know that there is more to life out there and the only thing holding you from reaching it is in your own mind.

Drugs do control your life. Allow your self to have control.

It is all in your thoughts and the way you perceive things.

You just can't let any little thing give you a reason to get high. Eventually things will get better, if you retrain your thought process.

Instead of looking at everything negatively,
start looking at yourself for what you have been through and be proud you survived and learn from it to go on.
Allow your past to empower you to do better
than what you have done.

Most of the pictures were drawn July, 2004 to March, 2006
during the height of my drug nightmare.